Former Arsenal star Emmanuel Eboue has revealed that the thoughts of committing suicide keeps crossing his mind following his recent difficult times.
The ex-Ivorian international has gone from being one of the world’s superstars of the round leather game to being broke and squatting with friends and living such life has continually pushed him to the edge of taking his life.
“I want God to help me. Only he can help take these thoughts (of committing suicide) from my mind,” Eboue told Sunday Mirror.
Currently the 34-year-old is unable to return to the sport owing to ill-health and his state of mind which has broken him to the point of considering suicide as an option.
Further to worsen his plight, Eboue lost all of his assets to his former wife Aurelie in a divorce battle and has also claimed that he has not seen his three children since June.
Things got even terrible when he lost his grandfather Amadou Bertin who he grew up with died of cancer and that was followed up with the death of his brother N’Dri Serge in a motorcycle accident.
Already a deadline to forfeit his Enfield home in London to his wife following a court order and the Ivorian said he cannot afford “any lawyer or barrister” to defend him in the case and has had to hide from bailiffs.
“I can’t afford the money to continue to have any lawyer or barrister.
“I am in the house but I am scared. Because I don’t know what time the police will come.
“Sometimes I shut off the lights because I don’t want people to know that I am inside. I put everything behind the door.
“My own house. I suffered to buy my house but I am now scared.
“I am not going to sell my clothes or sell what I have. I will fight until the end because it is not fair,” he said to the Sunday Mirror.
An attempt to return to the sport with Sunderland last year fell through after Eboue was slammed with a 12-month suspension due to a dispute with his former agent.
However the former Galatasaray man revealed that he was “naive” with his actions when the going was good.
“I look back and say ‘Emmanuel, you have been naive… why didn’t you think about that before?’ It is hard.
“Very, very hard. The money I earned, I sent it to my wife for our children.
“In Turkey I earned eight million euros. I sent seven million back home. Whatever she tells me to sign, I sign.
“She is my wife. The problems with FIFA were because of people advising me. People who are supposed to care. But it was because of them FIFA banned me,” he further said.
Despite the hard times, Eboue has found a confidante in Yasmin Razak who he refers to as “sister” and at times spends his time in her home with her children.
Also, former Portsmouth striker Lomana Lua Lua has been of assistance to the Ivorian during his travails.
“I call her house The Bunker. I can hide there. She has children. I don’t want to disturb them, so I sleep on the floor,” he explained.
Eboue now hopes he could get a return to the sport one day and is even ready to work behind the scene with his former employers Arsenal or the Players Football Association (PFA) in England.
“I would accept help from anywhere but if my previous club wants to help me then I would be very, very happy. Maybe I could help the young players?
“The PFA helped me when I had my problems with my agent. If they gave me a job, even if it wasn’t a big, big job.
“Maybe I’d see some of the people I played with or against and I’d feel embarrassed. But I would cope,” he said.
© The Predictor